Are you there, blog? It's me, harlett.

Why yes, this is my second post in 2 hours. Thanks for noticing that, non-existent blog viewer.

The past couple of days have been an exercise in suppressing an impulse to talk to someone I'm not supposed to talk to. Funny thing is, whenever I talk to that person, I either end up frustrated or crying in the shower. So maybe my real impulse is just to express what I'm feeling.

So that's what I'm doing.

Why the hell are the absolutes of love so simple, when the circumstances surrounding it are so goddamn complicated? I'm a serial monogamist, which has gone... really poorly for me, to be honest. And now I think monogamy is a bit of a giant crock of crap.

Why do we let the idea of finding "the one" rule our young lives? Don't we have other shit to worry about?

That's part of the predicament in which I find myself. I hurt my significant other by living my life because I was his life.

That sounds very sweet, doesn't it? It's not. Truth be told, it's pathetic and annoying. He doesn't care where we live as long as we're together. That means it's up to me to decide where we're going to live. He doesn't care what he ends up doing as long as we're together. That means he's working a minimum-wage job and hasn't shown a lot of effort to improve his station. That means that I have to find a career that will determine where we live and feed that kid he wants. Did I mention he wants a kid? He says we can have one as long as I have the promise of a career.

How is that fair? It's very romantic, but it's not fair. So I concentrated on my career. And I didn't stop there, I kicked ass. I kicked so much ass that I decided to kick ass in different arenas as well.

And there he was, on the couch, all sad because I wasn't hiding in a stinky hoarder hole with him all day, and telling me that I must be very selfish because one of his sister's friends de-friended me on Facebook because I didn't ever post about him. What a cunt.

Do I love him? I most certainly did in the beginning. Now the resentment wins out. Can you really blame me? Can you?

The thing is, I want to have kids... I just don't want to have to raise my significant other as if he were a kid as well.

Sonuvabitch.